Saturday, March 5, 2011
Macbeth's witches, fruit stands, clouds & rainbows dreams
Dream diary update. I've been neglecting the diary again this week, more concerned about getting 9+ hours of sleep than recalling and recording my dreams. I have to be half-awake when I do the recall within 5 minutes and then I must wait a while to gather myself before writing. Anyway today I fell asleep rocking Fluffy and dreamed about floating above the clouds and rainbows with her. A couple of nights ago I dreamed about having 3 witches with me like Macbeth again. (early Tuesday night.) About 2 hours ago Fluffy woke me up by touching faces. I was having another dream about Macbeth's witches. This dream was less about them talking and making dire predictions than about me hawking and selling stuff with their help. Our base was in the sky above the metropolis where all these fruit stands would spring up. The three witches helped me set up a chain of stands for selling fresh fruit and other sundries before I awoke. I wondered immediately if Fluffy woke me up because something was wrong, but I think now she just missed me. The weather outside has been so warm that I just propped the back door open for her all day yesterday. So I propped it open again and turned on Classic Arts Showcase to listen to music and the wind on the pond and trees outside with her.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
CAVE, VR, Grand Canyon, menial work, food dreams
Dream diary update. I am stagnating a little. My dreams have taken on an unpleasant prison quality, perhaps because I feel that my time alone here has become more of a prison than a blessing lately? Anyway these are no longer my happiest days. Last weekend I felt a crushing depression after watching this news that BP spill Climate Change, and overall environmental degradation had killed thousands of baby dolphins in the Gulf.
This weekend it wasn't depression I felt but ennui. Friday morning I had a dream about virtual environments with television. People were there but I ignored them as I was a researcher about to make a breakthrough with 3DTV. The effect was like a CAVE virtual environment but somehow with solid light objects.
I had stepped through my VR portal into a cubical chamber where TV objects were partially real to me when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted in my dissatisfaction with my life here with the TV plus internet on most of the time. I realized that I was unhappy about my old resolve never to do basic research activities again. So I checked up on my first college adviser's website for the first time in years. I discovered that our last paper together 10 years ago was still among the 5 selected features on his CV web site. We did not part well I think, so I renewed my resolve never to look him up again even though its only 8 miles from here.
Saturday I had a dream about being 1/5 size with hawk wings instead of arms. I soared in the Grand Canyon again but I had a problem with my nestings next to high tension power lines. I raptored the updrafts next to Table Mesa when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted with my dissatisfaction at having resolved never to travel again 4 years ago. I often dreamwalk to Grand Canyon, but this time felt bitter. I realized I must still be depressed from last weekend.
Sunday morning I dreamed about doing menial volunteer and minimum wage work, something else on my forbidden never-to-do-again list. Monday life junk food and the storms outside kept me up most of the night. An hour ago I had a dream about being in a sexually segregated hospital cafeteria. All of the cashiers were young women but we were forbidden to go over to the women's side to interact informally with them. I stumbled over to their side a few times trying to escape before coming back to the men's side of the cafeteria. I put my energies into not looking at the other men and on inventing a new lemon sugar confection while walking around the dessert bars when I awoke. There are any number of things I find dissatisfying about this dream. I realize now that giving up on my diet, on women, and on becoming a cordon bleu can all be added to my long list of give-ups. I wonder when it will seem to me like I've given up too much? Thank goodness I've started reading and doing light exercise again recently with my sister's family. I believe the feeling that I am stagnating is purely subjective depression and can be cured with more zazen.
This weekend it wasn't depression I felt but ennui. Friday morning I had a dream about virtual environments with television. People were there but I ignored them as I was a researcher about to make a breakthrough with 3DTV. The effect was like a CAVE virtual environment but somehow with solid light objects.
I had stepped through my VR portal into a cubical chamber where TV objects were partially real to me when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted in my dissatisfaction with my life here with the TV plus internet on most of the time. I realized that I was unhappy about my old resolve never to do basic research activities again. So I checked up on my first college adviser's website for the first time in years. I discovered that our last paper together 10 years ago was still among the 5 selected features on his CV web site. We did not part well I think, so I renewed my resolve never to look him up again even though its only 8 miles from here.
Saturday I had a dream about being 1/5 size with hawk wings instead of arms. I soared in the Grand Canyon again but I had a problem with my nestings next to high tension power lines. I raptored the updrafts next to Table Mesa when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted with my dissatisfaction at having resolved never to travel again 4 years ago. I often dreamwalk to Grand Canyon, but this time felt bitter. I realized I must still be depressed from last weekend.
Sunday morning I dreamed about doing menial volunteer and minimum wage work, something else on my forbidden never-to-do-again list. Monday life junk food and the storms outside kept me up most of the night. An hour ago I had a dream about being in a sexually segregated hospital cafeteria. All of the cashiers were young women but we were forbidden to go over to the women's side to interact informally with them. I stumbled over to their side a few times trying to escape before coming back to the men's side of the cafeteria. I put my energies into not looking at the other men and on inventing a new lemon sugar confection while walking around the dessert bars when I awoke. There are any number of things I find dissatisfying about this dream. I realize now that giving up on my diet, on women, and on becoming a cordon bleu can all be added to my long list of give-ups. I wonder when it will seem to me like I've given up too much? Thank goodness I've started reading and doing light exercise again recently with my sister's family. I believe the feeling that I am stagnating is purely subjective depression and can be cured with more zazen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)