Childish dreams, darker realities, ghosts, lost cat dreams

   ICYMI In my last post I said that my beloved cat disappeared on Oct 4. I also wrote that I considered abandoning this blog because I feared it would drive me mad. In this post I plan to clarify those remarks and update post some of the dreams I was and am having.
   Before Oct 3 I had been planning to write a new dream diary post. Most of my dreams at the time seemed trivial, almost childish. I had dreams about kittens, rainbows, childhood, balloons, surfing, flying, wild animals, snow flakes and snow globes. Occasionally I had a dream w/ politicians or actors from tv doing vaudeville skits. I dreamed that Clint Eastwood was training me to shadow box w/ an empty chair, sort of a combo of Million Dollar Baby & SNL. I dreamed that Paul Ryan tried to get me to play straight man while he cracked welfare queen and anchor baby jokes while dressed as Dracula. During these weeks in my waking life I had been developmentally regressing. My parents divested from me entirely financially in July. I worked a few PT jobs for a neighbor but nothing inconvenient. I was spending a lot of time cuddling & talking w/ my cats while watching tv.
   BTW Oct 3 was the date of the first Presidential debate. Against my better judgement I watched it and microblogged on tumblr & twitter into the wee hours of Oct 4. Around midnight I let my cat out into the garage. She normally didn't go outside at this time, since she was of a gentler homebound disposition and a natural coward. I read twitter and dropped off intermittently throughout the night. Around 4 am I noticed she was gone and around 8:30 AM I became alarmed. I felt very guilty since I had been having beautiful dreams about celebrating a moonlight festival w/ her and the other cats until dawn, sort of replaying the hobbit feast from LOTR-1 in the dream w/ little cat people instead of hobbits and no wizard.
   In the following weeks my dreams took on several dark themes. I was dispassionately OCD about her loss, officially mourning the week after. I had dreams about fire and death, drowning and blood. I dreamed repeatedly about the ghost of the dead boy who used to have my bedroom. I dreamed that his head leaped on to my bed like a cat and argued w/ me about what a loser I am. I had all sorts of dreams about what must have happened to my missing cat. In retrospect IMAO its most probable that she was killed by our neighbor's giant black Newfoundland mastiffs, i.e., "Newfies," and he covered it up and disposed of the body.
   Our neighbor is a selfish bastard w/ an exotic animal fetish who likes to break ordinance and let them run loose in town here so they can snatch up free food. Animal control took the gator away and we are feeding the white peacock. I refuse to feed his giant dogs tho they frequently steal my cat's food if I'm not looking. Both of the "starving gentle giant" mastiffs look like this:

No doubt its lucky for him they weren't hunting small children at the primary school playground 100 m away.
    My naturalist nephew found some photos of the missing cat on his cell. She was extremely fond of me and begged to be held for rocking hugs and kisses no less than 5 times on the date of her disappearance. Her name was Skanky, pictured here w/ kittens and mate:

In the intervening weeks I've done everything short of posting a reward poster. It didn't make sense to post one since we thought we had no photos & she is colored a common Tabby variety so I'd get 15 wrong responses. I plan to make one now I think.
   Last weekend I started thinking maybe traveling Satanists got my cat. The main reason is this story about a dog dumped out nearby w/ acid all over her face burning off her flesh. Also my cat disappeared on Oct 4, World Animal Day, which is set on the catholic calendar Feast Day for St Francis of Assisi (patron Saint of animals). Satanists like to schedule their desecrations around the catholic calendar. Third there have been other inexplicably similar Satanic attacks on pets in Europe this month here, here, and here. Fourth my next-door neighbor's cute kitten was snatched 17 nights after mine, also in the wee hours of Sunday Oct 21 between midnight and 2 AM. He claims there was a car of traveling strangers parked there when he got home who must have sped away w/ his cat. Fifth there have been a mysterious October string of church-type vandals circa to our exact region here and here. IMAO It is insufficient to rule out Satanic sacrifice of our pets near Halloween simply because they are not black colored. I attended high school w/ several Satanists and they are still rumored to be in our town.
   It is more likely to be the reckless exotic pets neighbor though, since he has since ceased to turn the mastiffs loose for the rest of the month after the second cat. IMAO It is a wicked world, with much unwholesome pain visited by uprooted humans. I don't enjoy dreaming vividly every night about my cat being tortured and stuffed by wicked humans or pulled apart screaming in the dark by foaming hounds. It is reminiscent of the nightmare work of horror directors Clive Barker and Dario Argento.

Kittens, allergies, ancient Egyptian goddess dreams

Dream diary update. The kittens have been sleeping with me ever since experiencing their first cold snap 2 days ago. My body heat is warmer than average so its understandable why they would sleep with me to keep warm. Wednesday was their first cold day and the remaining kittens Snooky and Smoky slept directly on my neck and chest upstairs, causing me to have dreams that were only about being face-to-face with happy & playful kittens.

Snooky is the white-and-grey she-kitten shown here. She liked sleeping stretched across my Adam's apple Wednesday. This caused me to snore loudly and to struggle with breathing a little all Wed morning. An additional factor interfering with breathing is we've all had pollen and mold allergies here this week. Though in my case allergies are extremely mild and not part of any CPD process. The kittens are on top of me right now.  For the last 2 mornings I've woken up thinking about friendship music and hearing various friendship songs in my dreams as well as some Simon & Garfunkel music. Just now I finally caught some zzzs upstairs without the kittens and though they were there in my dream it was not exclusively about them. I dreamed of losing control. A malevolent spirit wanted to use us to imprison a girl by locking her inside some ceremonial relics that looked ancient Egyptian.I was questing unsuccessfully alone to free her but ever so often I would get transported back to the dream realm I share with the kittens to watch another section of her imprisoned in gold relics in the ether above us. She was half-imprisoned with a golden queen mask on when I awoke.

Ritual fire dancing, Burning Man, kittens dream

I just woke up an hour ago from a dream where I was leaping and dancing around and over a bonfire with the kittens. The fire would occasionally shoot out a shower of red sparks into the starry sky when a giant tree would collapse. We were dancing to keep the universe alive and moving, so the whole thing was quite ritual and tribal. I would often somersault and spin while leaping freakishly high up 9 feet and across 20 ft the way I used to before landing bowed down face-to-face with one of the kittens ringed around the fire. I initially thought this fiery dancing dream was inspired by watching the replay of this week's Great Performances on WSIU again before bedtime, where the Vienna ballet school admirably complemented Valery Gergiev and the Vienna Philharmonic Summer performance. I think now it may be because I was made aware of current ongoing Burning Man celebrations from watching twitter the other day and from listening to a Craig Ferguson joke about it just before passing out.

I also think now this ritual fire dancing dream probably was inspired by the Manuel de Falla gypsy dancing piece in El amor bruja. I've been anticipating watching more gypsy dancing on Classic Arts Showcase all week since we're a little culturally starved here from a life of poverty in the Sticks.