Monday, December 10, 2012

Existentialist Hell, International Space Station, Mayan Doomsday, Climate Congress dreams

“That's what hell must be like, small chat to the babbling of Lethe about the
good old days when we wished we were dead.”
-Samuel Beckett


Most of my memorable dreams in Dec have been about arguing with 2 other people in dark enclosed spaces about oblivion, the multiverse, and the end of the world. Obviously these dreams are inspired by the play "No Exit" by Jean-Paul Sartre. Since my typical bimonthly or weekly dreams about hell usually involves feeling enormous battle fatigue and streetfighting demons, I consider Existentialist Hell to be an marked improvement. The mute third presence is usually a pretty girl. A lot of guys in my position might even consider them dreams about Paradise. Locked in a room with a beautiful girl who almost never talks back, and just one asshole I need to clobber in order to bang her for all eternity.

   An exception to this dream sequence occurred late last Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. I had been thinking a lot about the composite light photographs from the ISS dark field observatory, the #Cop18 #Doha summit on Climate Change, Nuclear Proliferation, & other 21st century bogies such as the Mayan calendar panic. Since I passed out looking at the Light photos again I ended up dreaming about watching the end of the World from the ISS. Unlike Douglas Adams' charming "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", all I could see and hear from the ISS was all the slaughter and destruction taking place on what had once been a bright blue ball. I watched the planet tremble and burn. The people turned to constant war and cannibalism. The seas rose up as the skies became black with smoke and tempests. I felt a wrenching and a tearing as I became trapped in a manifold of the multiverse, forever trapped in a singularity as I awoke.

Special guest post: Danny Elfman, Disability Treaty, tax havens, revolving door Congress, hot tub flush dreams

Well I have been keeping to my intended 1 post per month on the Dream Diary blog. That's because forcing myself awake to write entry details while they were fresh was causing a radical sleep deficit of 3-6 hours per night in October. Anyway I was going to write an entry this morning when my nephew beat me to it, and easily too. This is his (Dirk Diddly's) dream.
Special guest post: my Naturalist nephew, who also happens to be disabled, via chat log

[11:23:00]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
I dreamed that I had found the secret tax-free party island of corrupt U.S. politicians
[11:23:24]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
and their guards took me to a pool with Danny Elfman as lifeguard I guess
[11:23:51]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
he asked me a series of questions regarding what I thought of America and if I knew their secrets
[11:25:33]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
apparently dissatisfied with my responses they threw me into the pool and pressed a button that caused a large hole to open in the side of the pool, where I was sucked in headfirst and I believe killed somehow, tho the dream ended then so I don't really know
[11:25:47]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
kind of an unpleasant dream
[11:27:04]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
It's cuz I was listening to oingo boingo when you sent me those links about the teapublicans killing the disability rights treaty
[11:27:17]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
my brain fused it somehow
[11:27:21]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
o-o
[12:41:26]    
coo dream
[12:44:15]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
y and they were all men, it was their secret tax-free gay island paradise that us common folk aren't supposed to know about
[12:44:37]     [25.237.132.57 / 2620:9b::19ed:8439 - Dirk Diddly]
Must be where congress spends all its time instead of actually doing something

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Elly Stone, French alleys, cathedral, demons, Feynman diagrams dreams

   Dream diary update. I didnt intend on making a blog entry so soon on the tails of my last entry 1 week ago. The dream I woke up w/ this morning was odd enough that I felt it required at least some remarks, though reluctantly. Instead of leaping to my diary immediately I postponed writing about it a few hours. So I won't be bothered remembering any deep details or grand thematic transformations that I know were there, since they are in almost all of my dreamsleep. I can mostly just recall the moments leading up to my awakening.
   My dream was filled with sounds, colors, and music. Intermittently throughout played the entire music soundtrack from the film "Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris"(1975), by Elly Stone.

A warbling Ms Stone in a low cut red evening gown was one of my major love interests for the dream. I can distinctly recall making love to her while she stood facing me singing to the back alleys of Paris.
   Much of the last part of the dream occurred in a giant cathedral space. Demons sought to distract and assault me, but they became repeatedly confused by my successful efforts at materializing multidimensional Feynman quantum diagrams before us. I was working on a key for establishing a string theorem of multiverse. I won at my efforts before they could assault me. So the demons regrouped outside the warping space I was in, shrugged, and left. Then my moving Feynman diagrams expanded between my fingertips and exploded. There was a white light all around me and I could feel the solar winds against my face once again as I awoke. It was around 5:15 AM CDT. The cats were resting on top of me and got up to be let out.
   For dream elements the French music & caterwauling lover are easily explained: I like French girls. I'm 25% French so I find I have better luck w/ dating some of them. The Stone movie is not one of my favorites, but it reminds me of fucking those punk French girls. The demons are somewhat harder to explain. Before bedtime I watched Svengoolie on MeTV w/ my visiting nephew. The flick last night was Hammer horror classic "Curse of the Werewolf" starring Oliver Reed. Reed also had had starring roles in the rock musical "Tommy" & as the adulterous priest in Ken Russel's "The Devils."

Coincidentally, my nephews is also named Tommy thanks to that movie. So I figure that watching that Oliver Reed/Hammer horror movie w/ my nephew combined w/ watching amusing Halloween demon porn clips after he left brought "The Devils" & sexy Yvonne Romain to my dream.

   The complex Feynman diagram spatial transformations are the most difficult dream elements to explain. I guess its safest just to say that I used to study that, in French, and parts of my dream were spoken entirely in French and Latin.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Childish dreams, darker realities, ghosts, lost cat dreams

   ICYMI In my last post I said that my beloved cat disappeared on Oct 4. I also wrote that I considered abandoning this blog because I feared it would drive me mad. In this post I plan to clarify those remarks and update post some of the dreams I was and am having.
   Before Oct 3 I had been planning to write a new dream diary post. Most of my dreams at the time seemed trivial, almost childish. I had dreams about kittens, rainbows, childhood, balloons, surfing, flying, wild animals, snow flakes and snow globes. Occasionally I had a dream w/ politicians or actors from tv doing vaudeville skits. I dreamed that Clint Eastwood was training me to shadow box w/ an empty chair, sort of a combo of Million Dollar Baby & SNL. I dreamed that Paul Ryan tried to get me to play straight man while he cracked welfare queen and anchor baby jokes while dressed as Dracula. During these weeks in my waking life I had been developmentally regressing. My parents divested from me entirely financially in July. I worked a few PT jobs for a neighbor but nothing inconvenient. I was spending a lot of time cuddling & talking w/ my cats while watching tv.
   BTW Oct 3 was the date of the first Presidential debate. Against my better judgement I watched it and microblogged on tumblr & twitter into the wee hours of Oct 4. Around midnight I let my cat out into the garage. She normally didn't go outside at this time, since she was of a gentler homebound disposition and a natural coward. I read twitter and dropped off intermittently throughout the night. Around 4 am I noticed she was gone and around 8:30 AM I became alarmed. I felt very guilty since I had been having beautiful dreams about celebrating a moonlight festival w/ her and the other cats until dawn, sort of replaying the hobbit feast from LOTR-1 in the dream w/ little cat people instead of hobbits and no wizard.
   In the following weeks my dreams took on several dark themes. I was dispassionately OCD about her loss, officially mourning the week after. I had dreams about fire and death, drowning and blood. I dreamed repeatedly about the ghost of the dead boy who used to have my bedroom. I dreamed that his head leaped on to my bed like a cat and argued w/ me about what a loser I am. I had all sorts of dreams about what must have happened to my missing cat. In retrospect IMAO its most probable that she was killed by our neighbor's giant black Newfoundland mastiffs, i.e., "Newfies," and he covered it up and disposed of the body.
   Our neighbor is a selfish bastard w/ an exotic animal fetish who likes to break ordinance and let them run loose in town here so they can snatch up free food. Animal control took the gator away and we are feeding the white peacock. I refuse to feed his giant dogs tho they frequently steal my cat's food if I'm not looking. Both of the "starving gentle giant" mastiffs look like this:
No doubt its lucky for him they weren't hunting small children at the primary school playground 100 m away.
    My naturalist nephew found some photos of the missing cat on his cell. She was extremely fond of me and begged to be held for rocking hugs and kisses no less than 5 times on the date of her disappearance. Her name was Skanky, pictured here w/ kittens and mate:
In the intervening weeks I've done everything short of posting a reward poster. It didn't make sense to post one since we thought we had no photos & she is colored a common Tabby variety so I'd get 15 wrong responses. I plan to make one now I think.
   Last weekend I started thinking maybe traveling Satanists got my cat. The main reason is this story about a dog dumped out nearby w/ acid all over her face burning off her flesh. Also my cat disappeared on Oct 4, World Animal Day, which is set on the catholic calendar Feast Day for St Francis of Assisi (patron Saint of animals). Satanists like to schedule their desecrations around the catholic calendar. Third there have been other inexplicably similar Satanic attacks on pets in Europe this month here, here, and here. Fourth my next-door neighbor's cute kitten was snatched 17 nights after mine, also in the wee hours of Sunday Oct 21 between midnight and 2 AM. He claims there was a car of traveling strangers parked there when he got home who must have sped away w/ his cat. Fifth there have been a mysterious October string of church-type vandals circa to our exact region here and here. IMAO It is insufficient to rule out Satanic sacrifice of our pets near Halloween simply because they are not black colored. I attended high school w/ several Satanists and they are still rumored to be in our town.
   It is more likely to be the reckless exotic pets neighbor though, since he has since ceased to turn the mastiffs loose for the rest of the month after the second cat. IMAO It is a wicked world, with much unwholesome pain visited by uprooted humans. I don't enjoy dreaming vividly every night about my cat being tortured and stuffed by wicked humans or pulled apart screaming in the dark by foaming hounds. It is reminiscent of the nightmare work of horror directors Clive Barker and Dario Argento.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Return to dream diary blog, Differences in Liberal & Conservative brains

   Well, I almost abandoned this blog this time. There are several reasons why. The main one is that I felt that dwelling too much on my dreams would drive me mad. A recent dream study shows that political Liberals tend to have much more vivid dreams & troubled sleep than political Conservatives do. Well I am about as Liberal as they come. In addition my brain may be more susceptible to bizarre dreams in other ways. I also felt that it was a good time to leave off the dream diary and focus more on my political blogging and other online studies.  One of the reasons I stayed in school for so many years (26 for college) is that concentrating & focusing regularly on my studies helps distract me from these internal disturbances.
    I am extremely Liberal w/ an IQ measured  in the 170-195 range, a creative IQ est in the 180s, and w/ an open and natural values system from my tolerant familial & social environment. I figured that anything that stimulates my pronounced Liberalism is bound to make me feel about as enlightened as Gandhi and theoretically as creative as Picasso. Alternatively, obsessing over the latest dream diary post at night after an internal freak show every 2 hours was making my sleep interruptions worse. I'd end up passing out at odd times and unable to plan tasks. I even lost track of one of my beloved cats, who was taken from here while I was in one such fainting state on the early morning of Oct 4. In the following post I'll go into some of the disturbing dream images I've been trying very hard to forget. I'll also go into more details on the subject of my missing cat.
    Other studies show that Liberal brains become more compassionate & open w/ political activity, while Conservatives tend to further close their minds w/ the same social activity. I understand that "open" and "closed" are relative terms, but that's just paraphrasing the way it was newscast to me. So for me switching blogs seemed like a win-win. My unpleasant disequilibrium in the dream diary would become remote in my thoughts and my daily focus instead on my twitter and tumblr blogs would make me more compassionate and creative. Here's enumeration lists on the relative behavioral differences and neuroanatomy of Liberal and Conservative brains. Coincidentally, political research shows that gullible voters tend to trust numbered lists implicitly, so politicians will frequently argue points in 3's when seeking to lull their minds to acceptance.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Valkyries, ravens, demon bears, Bast, Nile boat dreams

Dream diary update. Well I've been doing my best to forget my dreams again. I purposely avoid making entries in this blog more than once a month. My dreams this past month have varied from heaven to hell and back again. I had a dream last week that was so vivid I thought it was real. I was in a beautiful landscape with Valkyries trying to prevent me from leaving. I turned into a raven to fly away from them and they turned into swans. Somehow I flew sideways into a dark river and the world turned 90 degrees as I emerged back home in Middle-Earth as I awoke.

   Last night I had a dream about fighting demon-bears around 4 AM. I was really tearing the shit out of them, typically disemboweling a scowling demon-bear with one stroke of my sword. The slaughter was so one-sided that I took a young nephew as a page and trained him to do it. He had just disemboweled his demon-grizzly with a single stroke for the first time when I awoke.
 
Swirly kitten was curled up on top of me nibbling my nose. She wanted pet for about an hour while I chatted with my real nephew.
   I fell asleep again around 8 AM, this time with Swirly's mother, Skanky cat, wanting to cuddle. I had a dream about the violin from Rouge et Bleu again. It's one of my favorite clips from Classic Arts Showcase that was playing when I awoke from the demon-bears dream at 4 AM.

The violin was playing throughout my dream, which involved me spending time with my lover Bast while floating on a Nile junk made of papyrus together. I thought we might make love when I awoke. Skanky cat was putting deeply on my spine and periodically licking my neck and nibbling my ears.


Monday, July 2, 2012

TM, water elemental, beasts, cat girl, dark angel, Hell dreams

   Dream diary update. I had a few God dreams early last week. When I have dreams that are filled with Transcendental Meditation imagery or ancient mythologies then I call them God dreams. I had a dream about being a water elemental. Another couple of dreams about animals. I dreamed I was a fox.

A couple of dreams about croc, water moccasin, giraffes and of course cats. I had a sex dream about doing a hot cat girl Friday.

   Mostly though I've been having dreams about Hell again  I had a dream Saturday afternoon about being savaged and ripped to shreds in the dusk sky by flying dark angels. One of them swooped up & dived down like an eagle to finish me off as I awoke.
 Today I passed out late this afternoon and I dreamed about being hammered, clawed, and tortured by old people in this huge dark mansion. The mansion was like the one from the Fall of The House of Usher but bigger and taller, almost like a mountain cathedral. The two old ladies were about to claw out my throat. One of them went for my right eye & the other disemboweled me as I awoke.
I've been dreaming about old people a lot lately, probably because I only socialize daily with my parents. Nevertheless I felt magickally charged up after this dream. I'm pretty used to Hell dreams by now. Also I woke up with the cats taking shelter in my bed so I was quite peaceful. When I brought them outside the white peacock flew up in a tree above the roof and joined us out front. He's been roosting on the back porch. I think he likes the cat food and bird seed I set out there regularly with the water bowls.