Saturday, March 5, 2011
Macbeth's witches, fruit stands, clouds & rainbows dreams
Dream diary update. I've been neglecting the diary again this week, more concerned about getting 9+ hours of sleep than recalling and recording my dreams. I have to be half-awake when I do the recall within 5 minutes and then I must wait a while to gather myself before writing. Anyway today I fell asleep rocking Fluffy and dreamed about floating above the clouds and rainbows with her. A couple of nights ago I dreamed about having 3 witches with me like Macbeth again. (early Tuesday night.) About 2 hours ago Fluffy woke me up by touching faces. I was having another dream about Macbeth's witches. This dream was less about them talking and making dire predictions than about me hawking and selling stuff with their help. Our base was in the sky above the metropolis where all these fruit stands would spring up. The three witches helped me set up a chain of stands for selling fresh fruit and other sundries before I awoke. I wondered immediately if Fluffy woke me up because something was wrong, but I think now she just missed me. The weather outside has been so warm that I just propped the back door open for her all day yesterday. So I propped it open again and turned on Classic Arts Showcase to listen to music and the wind on the pond and trees outside with her.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
CAVE, VR, Grand Canyon, menial work, food dreams
Dream diary update. I am stagnating a little. My dreams have taken on an unpleasant prison quality, perhaps because I feel that my time alone here has become more of a prison than a blessing lately? Anyway these are no longer my happiest days. Last weekend I felt a crushing depression after watching this news that BP spill Climate Change, and overall environmental degradation had killed thousands of baby dolphins in the Gulf.
This weekend it wasn't depression I felt but ennui. Friday morning I had a dream about virtual environments with television. People were there but I ignored them as I was a researcher about to make a breakthrough with 3DTV. The effect was like a CAVE virtual environment but somehow with solid light objects.
I had stepped through my VR portal into a cubical chamber where TV objects were partially real to me when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted in my dissatisfaction with my life here with the TV plus internet on most of the time. I realized that I was unhappy about my old resolve never to do basic research activities again. So I checked up on my first college adviser's website for the first time in years. I discovered that our last paper together 10 years ago was still among the 5 selected features on his CV web site. We did not part well I think, so I renewed my resolve never to look him up again even though its only 8 miles from here.
Saturday I had a dream about being 1/5 size with hawk wings instead of arms. I soared in the Grand Canyon again but I had a problem with my nestings next to high tension power lines. I raptored the updrafts next to Table Mesa when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted with my dissatisfaction at having resolved never to travel again 4 years ago. I often dreamwalk to Grand Canyon, but this time felt bitter. I realized I must still be depressed from last weekend.
Sunday morning I dreamed about doing menial volunteer and minimum wage work, something else on my forbidden never-to-do-again list. Monday life junk food and the storms outside kept me up most of the night. An hour ago I had a dream about being in a sexually segregated hospital cafeteria. All of the cashiers were young women but we were forbidden to go over to the women's side to interact informally with them. I stumbled over to their side a few times trying to escape before coming back to the men's side of the cafeteria. I put my energies into not looking at the other men and on inventing a new lemon sugar confection while walking around the dessert bars when I awoke. There are any number of things I find dissatisfying about this dream. I realize now that giving up on my diet, on women, and on becoming a cordon bleu can all be added to my long list of give-ups. I wonder when it will seem to me like I've given up too much? Thank goodness I've started reading and doing light exercise again recently with my sister's family. I believe the feeling that I am stagnating is purely subjective depression and can be cured with more zazen.
This weekend it wasn't depression I felt but ennui. Friday morning I had a dream about virtual environments with television. People were there but I ignored them as I was a researcher about to make a breakthrough with 3DTV. The effect was like a CAVE virtual environment but somehow with solid light objects.
I had stepped through my VR portal into a cubical chamber where TV objects were partially real to me when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted in my dissatisfaction with my life here with the TV plus internet on most of the time. I realized that I was unhappy about my old resolve never to do basic research activities again. So I checked up on my first college adviser's website for the first time in years. I discovered that our last paper together 10 years ago was still among the 5 selected features on his CV web site. We did not part well I think, so I renewed my resolve never to look him up again even though its only 8 miles from here.
Saturday I had a dream about being 1/5 size with hawk wings instead of arms. I soared in the Grand Canyon again but I had a problem with my nestings next to high tension power lines. I raptored the updrafts next to Table Mesa when I awoke.
I viewed this dream as rooted with my dissatisfaction at having resolved never to travel again 4 years ago. I often dreamwalk to Grand Canyon, but this time felt bitter. I realized I must still be depressed from last weekend.
Sunday morning I dreamed about doing menial volunteer and minimum wage work, something else on my forbidden never-to-do-again list. Monday life junk food and the storms outside kept me up most of the night. An hour ago I had a dream about being in a sexually segregated hospital cafeteria. All of the cashiers were young women but we were forbidden to go over to the women's side to interact informally with them. I stumbled over to their side a few times trying to escape before coming back to the men's side of the cafeteria. I put my energies into not looking at the other men and on inventing a new lemon sugar confection while walking around the dessert bars when I awoke. There are any number of things I find dissatisfying about this dream. I realize now that giving up on my diet, on women, and on becoming a cordon bleu can all be added to my long list of give-ups. I wonder when it will seem to me like I've given up too much? Thank goodness I've started reading and doing light exercise again recently with my sister's family. I believe the feeling that I am stagnating is purely subjective depression and can be cured with more zazen.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Berzerk air elemental, Species bio-weapon dreams
Dream diary update. Unpleasant creation has been a theme in my dreams lately. That puts them in the same dream genre as that which inspired Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Yesterday morning around 0725 I had a dream about my 4 elementals again. This time I was having trouble with my air elemental going berzerk. He was just about to expand the radius of his tantrum to include the town around us when I awoke. I was on the couch upstairs with the TV on and Fluffy cat and Stinky purring on top of me.
An hour ago I had a dream about being a medical technician and scientist who worked contracts on secret projects inside a research lab. I handled the growth chambers while other researchers worried about the gene sequences. I noticed that the Species child (young Sil) was being grown in my vats and I felt she had a right to survive because of her human origins.
Nevertheless I reported her to the other researchers who promptly investigated test subjects from the offending scientist initiating the experiments. It turns out he had other bio-weapons developing in our lab so all his records were confiscated and his test subjects were red-flagged. We found out he was cultivating a deadly virus inside giant lab animals. We were about to cull his capybara and his giant nautilus from the other animals when I awoke.
An hour ago I had a dream about being a medical technician and scientist who worked contracts on secret projects inside a research lab. I handled the growth chambers while other researchers worried about the gene sequences. I noticed that the Species child (young Sil) was being grown in my vats and I felt she had a right to survive because of her human origins.
Nevertheless I reported her to the other researchers who promptly investigated test subjects from the offending scientist initiating the experiments. It turns out he had other bio-weapons developing in our lab so all his records were confiscated and his test subjects were red-flagged. We found out he was cultivating a deadly virus inside giant lab animals. We were about to cull his capybara and his giant nautilus from the other animals when I awoke.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Any Human Heart, Sad Memories of Lost Love dream
Dream diary update. Since the nice weather broke I haven't been keeping up with the dream diary. Its too easy to go outside and look at the moon and stars instead with the cats. About an hour ago I had a sad dream about being in love under duress.when I woke up Masterpiece Classic/PBS was playing "Any Human Heart-pt 1" about the same subject. I realized immediately that I've been falling asleep every night this week trying to watch Charlie Rose and waking up to the lover separation part of Any Human Heart. Somehow it became part of my dream with me as the protagonist and my lover dying. Its not typical for me to dream about being a protagonist since in my dreams I usually see myself as a sort of Byronic antihero. It appears to have awakened some sad memories that I prefer to keep safely buried.
When amatory poets sing their loves
In liquid lines mellifluously bland,
And pair their rhymes as Venus yokes her doves,
They little think what mischief is in hand.
The greater their success the worse it proves,
As Ovid's verse may give to understand.
Even Petrarch's self, if judged with due severity,
Is the Platonic pimp of all posterity.
Lord Byron, Don Juan, Canto 5
When amatory poets sing their loves
In liquid lines mellifluously bland,
And pair their rhymes as Venus yokes her doves,
They little think what mischief is in hand.
The greater their success the worse it proves,
As Ovid's verse may give to understand.
Even Petrarch's self, if judged with due severity,
Is the Platonic pimp of all posterity.
Lord Byron, Don Juan, Canto 5
Monday, February 14, 2011
Spider dictator, snake demons, dystopian junk car park dreams
Dream diary update. My dreams since Saturday have varied between dreadful and dystopian. Saturday afternoon I dreamed about controlling an Escher maze with a pet spider that was hippo-sized. I worked out my demonic feelings by running people through one of the maze traps were the spider would swoop down and suck the juices out of them. My chamberlain and viceroy had a new shipment of prisoners but hesitated to send the youngest. I insisted that he go first as it was a boy of about 3-5 who had never heard of my pet spider. The trap spider swooped down surely and lifted the boy upwards for me to see as he pierced the child's back with his fangs. The scream and the expression of terror and lost hope on the boy's face was so sweet to my dictator persona that I leaped off the parapet and dived straight into the boy's wrinkled face as I awoke.
Early Sunday morning around 0130 I awoke after a similar horrible dream only this one had snake demons instead of spiders. In this one the world had become overrun with people corrupted by attaining weak demonic powers. People sought to capture the possessions or corpse of real demons so they could consume them. As they consumed them, primarily by licking, people would become more snake-like or more demon-like. They initially would grow wings and horns. Later stages they would grow a long tongue like a dog's only about 30 inches long and behave more like vampires.
I hid my identity from the corrupted fellowship as a low-level changeling demon, but the snake demons knew me for what I was. People wondered why I did not spend times searching for human sacrifices or greedily licking at the articles of clothing of suspected demons masquerading as humans. If the corrupted fellowship ever figured out that I was a real demon then I would become the hunted. I could not hide my changeling status from regular humans anymore so I couldn't leave them either. I awaited the time of my ascension so I would become immortal and immune to their attacks. I considered myself socialized by humans so I retained a certain fondness for them that I hid. A grinning snake demon was about to demand that I eat an attractive female human for St Valentine's Day when I awoke.
I was fed up with demonic dreams so I resolved to change them later. Dreams later Sunday morning were about kawaii anime characters like dog-eared boys and cat-girls along with Valentine cards I've read before. Unfortunately this dream was too much the other way for me so I awoke disgusted again.
At 0506 Monday morning I had a dystopian dream, probably from hearing all the late night news about the further decay of the US empire and the ascension of China's hybrid economy. For example BBC World news just now reported that China would surpass the US and the West in under 10 years and no longer need to export to us with the rising developing countries ready to pick up all their exports. Anyway the dream I just had was about joining a US community of homeless caravans. We had sort of built a gated community of junkyard cars.
I was one of the latest arrivals but I found I could only join the largest cohort of aggressive, trashy poor people with kids and guns but no money.
The greedy old retirement community was on the other side of the car park but they had servants and private security to protect their great wealth and to keep us all out. I tried to stay out of the way of the breeders as they fought and murdered each other over grannies and schemed to use them to gain access to the richer old fart community compound. Despite my efforts to hide it the matriarch had discovered I was educated and could read. She had just hatched a new scam involving a granny doing infomercials and myself as go-between braving murderous cops in both communities when I awoke. Real infomercials were playing on my TV. I consider this to be a 'Boy and His Dog'-type dream without the nuclear war scenario and just using oily cars and overpopulation to achieve the appropriate environmental devastation.
Early Sunday morning around 0130 I awoke after a similar horrible dream only this one had snake demons instead of spiders. In this one the world had become overrun with people corrupted by attaining weak demonic powers. People sought to capture the possessions or corpse of real demons so they could consume them. As they consumed them, primarily by licking, people would become more snake-like or more demon-like. They initially would grow wings and horns. Later stages they would grow a long tongue like a dog's only about 30 inches long and behave more like vampires.
I hid my identity from the corrupted fellowship as a low-level changeling demon, but the snake demons knew me for what I was. People wondered why I did not spend times searching for human sacrifices or greedily licking at the articles of clothing of suspected demons masquerading as humans. If the corrupted fellowship ever figured out that I was a real demon then I would become the hunted. I could not hide my changeling status from regular humans anymore so I couldn't leave them either. I awaited the time of my ascension so I would become immortal and immune to their attacks. I considered myself socialized by humans so I retained a certain fondness for them that I hid. A grinning snake demon was about to demand that I eat an attractive female human for St Valentine's Day when I awoke.
I was fed up with demonic dreams so I resolved to change them later. Dreams later Sunday morning were about kawaii anime characters like dog-eared boys and cat-girls along with Valentine cards I've read before. Unfortunately this dream was too much the other way for me so I awoke disgusted again.
At 0506 Monday morning I had a dystopian dream, probably from hearing all the late night news about the further decay of the US empire and the ascension of China's hybrid economy. For example BBC World news just now reported that China would surpass the US and the West in under 10 years and no longer need to export to us with the rising developing countries ready to pick up all their exports. Anyway the dream I just had was about joining a US community of homeless caravans. We had sort of built a gated community of junkyard cars.
I was one of the latest arrivals but I found I could only join the largest cohort of aggressive, trashy poor people with kids and guns but no money.
The greedy old retirement community was on the other side of the car park but they had servants and private security to protect their great wealth and to keep us all out. I tried to stay out of the way of the breeders as they fought and murdered each other over grannies and schemed to use them to gain access to the richer old fart community compound. Despite my efforts to hide it the matriarch had discovered I was educated and could read. She had just hatched a new scam involving a granny doing infomercials and myself as go-between braving murderous cops in both communities when I awoke. Real infomercials were playing on my TV. I consider this to be a 'Boy and His Dog'-type dream without the nuclear war scenario and just using oily cars and overpopulation to achieve the appropriate environmental devastation.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Complexity, library dream
Dream diary update. I fell asleep after 2305 listening to PBS on the couch upstairs again. Around 0420 I woke up after dreaming about going to dream University with Chinese again. Even though technically we were in graduate courses we spent most of our time alone in the library. I kept working on complexity analysis of advanced algorithms when I should have been moving on to computational molecular biology. Every so often I would have to go out and fight a life-or-death battle before coming back to the safe library. I was about to solve a noisome EECS problem in pattern recognition when I awoke. I noticed immediately that I remembered my rusty Russian again since all the dream conversations had.had a little.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Celestial rotation, Music of the Spheres dream
Dream diary update. Despite the cold weather I decided to listen to my dream last night. While I didn't go on walkabout or to a country motel, I did shower and walk a couple of miles downtown later. It was quite cold at 11 degrees with a steep wind chill and snowing. I felt much better from the exercise. I had an early sup with parents and passed out at 7:15 pm even before Dad usually does About 11:30 pm I awoke with the arthritis in my ankle gone and Fluffy on top of me again. She's on top of me now. I think the physical contact has something to do with keeping both of us healthy. Anyway it took me 3 min of focused meditation to extract dream details this time so it was a deep sleep. The dream was about being part of a celestial rotation toy. I would rotate around and the celestial sphere would rotate with me in a kaleidoscope. When I looked up I could see the stars rotating around the axis. My arms could extend out into spinning ribbons that could ride the wind turbulence in compass cardinal directions. I consider this recurring dream theme to be a Music of the Spheres-type, even though there was no musical composition accompaniment and just a deep resonant rhythm this time.
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